| i think my doi has it right. write down things she is thankful for. im way too negative these days.
1) happy donuts beef stew
2) an almost 5 mile run
3) discovering the joys of ally mcbeal with my little sis
ok three is a good start. maybe i will have more tomorrow....
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| the past few years of my life i have dealt with horrible headaches and numerous doctors (general practitioners, neurologists, ents, internists) who have tried to figure out what is wrong with me. not to mention ive spent over $2500 in medical expenses in the past year. my current medication is costing me $150 per month which is prescribed by my current neurologist. he's a good neurologist and its good medicine, but its hard to believe that he really cares versus him just giving me medicine.
and i finally just found a doctor who cares. one who will read up on my headaches and my snoring. and research the sleep apnea pillow as an alternative to the medication. im so thankful. =)
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| i wonder why for some of its so hard to find love. and then for those of us who do, why its just so hard to make it work?
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| "the reverend mother always said that whenever the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window"
i am not a religious person, but i definitely admire some aspects of each faith. sometimes i wish i had more of a faith to live my life by. however i guess it is the most important to have some basic principles and morals to live by and just have faith that there is a bigger picture that i am part of.
im usually a happy person. last night i felt helplessly alone and in the gutter. it seemed like everyone had someone to love them except for me. no wonder single people hate the holidays. but it wasnt just the singledom. surrounded by so many people, i still felt so alone as if no one cared. i thought that it wasnt possible for new people who barely knew me to care and to love me as unconditionally as the old. as with all things, this too takes time and there are definitely some very good beginnings of people caring that have started to build. so if anything, this is my window.
it is so difficult for me to express myself in words because i never know how to entirely describe what i am feeling at the moment. my head is constantly jumbled with a million different thoughts that i know i want to get into writing in fear that i will forget them, but when i get to the computer i get a block.
the things i resolve to do in 2008:
no to the stoges
keep the drinking to once a weekend only
try to see the brighter side of all things
have more trust in myself, others, and more importantly, in the fact that things will be ok and my life actually is amazing
in the 4th quarter of 2007 things changed so much. lets see what 2008 has in store for me.
edit: so i will only drink heavily 52 times a year. genius.
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| sometimes i get so caught up missing what used to be and i forget to be thankful for now. heres to the nights we felt alive. 
thank you for making me feel loved. |
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